Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Haters Gonna Hate (AKA Bullies can go to Hell)

Today, I've got a slightly different post, and I'll warn you now that it's gonna be be text heavy. There might be a little rambling, and I'm sorry, but I'm trying to not edit my thoughts much on this subject. I want to talk about bullying... mainly cyberbullying.



You see, this morning I woke up to an email box absolutely full of emails and comment alerts. My little blog doesn't get that much traffic, so I was a little shocked by the sheer number of messages. I quickly glanced at my stats pages on Blogger, and saw that I was getting a lot of traffic from a Russian Live Journal page (I'm assuming that it was Russian since that's where the bulk of the traffic was coming from). I had to get to work, so I didn't think anything of it.  When I took a break, I started to read the emails and comments, and my heart just started breaking.  The things that people were saying were so mean... asking me if I knew how to do proper clean-up, why do I bother taking pictures of polishes when my nails are so bad, that I should stop painting my nails (something that I love) because I shouldn't draw attention to them.

I took a look at the Live Journal page, and it was basically an article that crucified my blog. There was picture after picture, taken from my blog, with increasingly disparaging remarks. Worse than the article itself were the comments from their readers... comments saying that they thought my nails were toenails at first... that I must be poor if I can't afford a proper manicure, yet I can afford expensive polish - what a paradox!

I was so hurt; I sat at my desk and cried. I deleted the emails, deleted all the rude comments, and I might have deleted the entire blog if it hadn't for the wonderful ladies in Hobby Polish Bloggers. I vented there, and the comments of support really did make a world of difference (not to mention some very creative ideas of what they can do with their opinions). Over the course of the day, I went from sad to just mad. Didn't anyone teach these people that if they can't say something nice, they shouldn't say anything at all?  DIDN'T THEY FREAKING WATCH BAMBI?


I had enough bullying when I was a kid. I was the shy kid, the smart kid, and worst of all, the fat kid. I heard the comments said behind my back. I acted like they didn't bother me, but God knows that they did. Thank God for my friends is about all I can say about that time. They took the time to see past the shyness and insecurities to get to know the real me. It wasn't until I got to college that I was able to break out of that self-imposed prison of shyness and found my voice.

As bad as it was... we were kids. And let's face it, kids can be dicks sometimes. But we grow up, right?  Apparently not. For whatever reason, these women (and maybe men) have nothing better to do with their time than gossip about lil ol' me. You know what, FINE, GO AHEAD! I won't let you hurt me any more.

I'm going to continue to post my nails. I am proud of my nails, even those "terrible" photos from when I first started blogging (and even before that when I was a microblogger on Facebook and Instagram). They show me how far I've come ... with my nails, my photography, even my writing. So...

  • If I want to color outside of the lines a little, so be it! 
  • If I have a rough day when I'm filing at work and break all my nails down, oh well you might be seeing some nubs. 
  • If the nubs bother me, and I want to pop on some fakies and go with that, that's fine too. 
  • If my nails are uneven, I'm sorry, but that's freaking life.

And it's my life, and polishing my nails is something that I love, and it's something that I truly love sharing. I love helping people discover a new polish that they fall in love with. I love getting emails asking me for tips to stop biting their nails. I love the interaction with other bloggers.

I just want to see the bullying stopped. It's not just me that gets bullied. I want to stop seeing the "Eeewww" comments on Instagram. I want to stop seeing the "WTF was she thinking?" when a talented nail artist posts creative and outside of the box designs. If I see these comments on my blog, they'll be deleted. If I see them on fellow bloggers Instagram, Facebook pages, or blogs, I'll report them.

Remember.... If you can't say anything nice... just STFU!







20 comments:

  1. Nails come in all shapes, sizes, and forms. Lots of women have nails just like yours and no one should be criticized for enjoying what they were born with and how they chose to dress it up!

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  2. Great post! There is entirely too much bullying going on in this community, groups of women who only get joy from trying to tear others down. Just look at it this way- if they took the time to do THIS MUCH to try to upset you, they are clearly intimidated and/or jealous of you in some way. Don't let them dull your sparkle and I 100% agree with that last line of the post!

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    1. I wish I could understand how people can find joy in hurting others.

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  3. I love reading your blog, and your nails are lovely. They're real life nails, and so much better than mine. <3

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  4. Good for you! I've been into nail art less than a year, and my intent is to sort of chronicle my growth. My last post was a nail fail. It's not easy to put yourself out there. But, I'll continue to post my failures as well as my successes, because if I can inspire one person to try, I'll be happy. Doing my nails and interacting with nailistas all over the world has greatly helped me, as I deal with depression and almost painful shyness. It will continue to be my therapy, and I'll continue to share it, and I hope you'll do the same. For every jerk with a hateful heart, there are dozens of us who read, enjoy, and admire what you do.

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    1. I'm right there with you with the shyness. I am a little less shy online, but there are still times that I'm shy even on the interwebs!

      Thank you for your kind words!

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  5. I'm so glad that you posted this... and so sorry that you had to go through it in the first place! There's so much of this that goes on that it's just sad. A majority of the people who make rude comments don't even paint their nails on a regular basis, let alone take pictures of them, edit them, and then write a blog post about it. Your response is dead-on and really well written! Sparkle On!!! :)

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    1. Bloggers definitely are the only ones who get the amount of effort that goes each post, that's for sure!

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  6. I love your swatches and I always have. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through some nasty stuff, people can just be utterly disgusting and mean. They'll only say those nasty things online, but wont say them to your face because they have the anonymity of the internet. A lot of the time when people bully, they do it because they're jealous of what someone else has. So maybe they're just jealous because you can actually paint your nails! They just drank their haterade that day and need to get their knickers out of a knot. I actually prefer seeing your swatches and nails above many other bloggers because your nails actually look real and not overly photoshopped.

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    1. I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing. If they don't like it, well they don't have to look!

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  7. I'm not glad that you experienced this, but I'm glad that you posted this. This needs to be said. Bullying anyone for anything is unacceptable. Why people feel the need to try to bring others down over their passion is beyond me. You keep being awesome and posting all of your amazing nail pictures (and those beautiful cats too) for the world to see!

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    1. Thank you! Mr. Bloo and Penny will definitely get their pictures posted. Penny has delusions of fame :)

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  8. I am so sorry this happened to you! I've been following you for a while now, and your love for blogging and nail polish is very clear. It's so sad when an individual person can rally a group of people against a stranger for the sole purpose of trying to destroy their passion. I'm so glad you didn't let them!

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  9. I'm sorry this happened, people can be real assholes. I like that you posted this as a big F U to them!! Keep doing you girl, and I'll keep reading your blog like I have for months :)

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  10. Kudos to you for taking this on head on. There's so much negativity on the internet and for some reason, people seem to think it's okay to be an asshole behind the keyboard. My nail beds are short and wide. I don't have those long, slender beds with only a millimetre of free edge but I work with what I have. I'm sorry you had to deal with it and that you were hurt, but you really are the bigger person in this.

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  11. "Color outside the lines" Hahahahaha! I do that all the time! I love your posts, that are real people nails. I don't understand why people do these things, if they don't like something, don't read/look at it. Why people feel the need to talk like this to others is beyond me. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Know that you have a lot of readers that love your blog and your nails! I'm sorry you went through this but glad that you didn't give in to them. But I'm also glad that you wrote this post!

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  12. Your nails are a part of the beautiful person that you are. Hold your head up high knowing that you provide a valuable service to us polishaholics.

    To hell with the haters and keep the glitter flowing!!!!

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